The Beginning of CSR - Creating Connections Ourselves
Community Support Rejoice, which aims to prevent isolation in child-rearing, is operated by representative Ayami Castillo, Makiko, an occupational therapist and aromatherapist, and Komi, who is active in fried chicken sales and as a life coach.
Ayami also has a role in the educational field, utilizing her teaching license.
While we couldn't have an interview with all three together, I later spoke with Makiko and Komi, and then Ayami.
Encounters
Please tell us about the encounters of the three of you.
Komi (no honorifics)
It started with the encounter between Makiko and Ayami.
Makiko (no honorifics)
That's right. I gave birth to my second child in May 2020, but at that time, there was a state of emergency due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
I am from outside Okayama Prefecture, and I couldn't meet with friends who had said we would gather once I went on maternity leave.
Even though I went on childcare leave, everything was closed due to COVID.
The people I got to know after moving had transferred, and my older child was about to leave daycare, so I was spending time with just my two children and myself.
Since my family is also out of the prefecture, it was hard to go back.
I felt that it wouldn't be good to stay like this with just the three of us, and then I happened to find Ayami's blog.
It said, "I came to Tamashima, Kurashiki City from outside the prefecture and am doing parent-child English activities."
Seeing that made me think, "We can go together as a parent and child."
Ayami is also from outside the prefecture and was already active.
Makiko
That's right. I went to Ayami's place with a strong desire to talk to someone.
We talked about English, but the situation was quite tough because temporary childcare services were not functioning, and even if I wanted to leave my child, I couldn't, so I talked about that too.
After that, following my older child's departure from daycare, my application for my younger child's enrollment was not approved, and I ended up having to resign from my job.
Given those circumstances, I suggested to Ayami that we should create a place where children could be taken care of.
Ayami had experience and knowledge because she had helped at a nursery run by her mother.
From there, we started consulting with the city hall and looking for a location.
However, we still had to consider facility standards and needed funding.
Indeed. We also need personnel.
That's right. We needed someone qualified like a nursery teacher. This felt a bit large-scale.
For example, if in the same building, the mother is doing something over here while the child is in a separate space, it was said that a nursery teacher would not be necessary.
Thinking that might be possible, the issue of location still remained.
The Beginning of the Organization
The activities of CSR began in December 2021. About 1 year and 3 months after the encounter of the two, the first activity was held at a community exchange space in Tamashima, Kurashiki City.
What happened to the issues that troubled the two?
Ayami reflected on that time.
I heard that there were concerns about location and funding at the start of CSR's activities. Can you tell us about the process leading up to the start of the activities?
Ayami (no honorifics)
While spending time talking with Makiko, I found an invitation to a mask ball hosted by Oya Company and participated.
That was around February or March 2021.
After that, I participated in Oya Company's prenatal and postnatal care marche as a childcare volunteer, while Makiko participated as a vendor.
At that time, I learned that the place where the marche was held could be used for free, and we decided to use it as the first activity location for CSR.
The prenatal and postnatal care marche was also a place where I met Komi, who was participating as a childcare volunteer.
Komi herself was participating while carrying her child, and while doing childcare volunteer work, we started talking about CSR.
Her characteristic words, "If there's anything I can do, I'll support you!" led me to invite her to the first CSR meeting right away.
I remember being surprised that Komi, who probably didn't know anything, was able to articulate the meeting's content accurately.
That was how Komi ended up participating, and it felt like the last missing piece was connected.
Trajectory - The Choice of "Not Doing"
Welcoming Komii-san, CSR started with the current three-person system.
Soon after starting, an opportunity for grant application came around.
“Ayami-san is the accelerator, Makiko-san is the brake, and Komii-san verbalizes that interaction. Komii-san feels like the one holding the map.” This was how Makiko-san and Komii-san expressed their relationship.
The three have progressed by complementing each other, choosing the path of "not doing" to clarify what is important.
Each Person's Driving Force and Role
What is the reason for being able to continue activities?
Makiko
For me, it was because I wanted to take my child to places.
I wanted to create a place I wanted to go to.
Komii
I might like to breathe life into things that are stagnant.
Looking back now.
Initially, I felt it was a noble activity to create a place for those who feel lonely.
I wanted to lend a hand.
Also, when thinking about something, I tend to fall into a narrow perspective, so I wanted to be there as a presence that could throw a stone and ask what is truly important from a different viewpoint.
At one point, I was busy trying to get a grant from the social welfare council.
There were times when I thought, "Was the goal to exhaust the money? Is this really necessary? No, maybe it’s not," as well.
Makiko
That happened. We had prepared all the documents, and it was just a matter of submitting them.
In the end, we realized that we couldn't use the money where we wanted to use it.
Grants must be fully utilized, but it seemed like we would have to do something to use the grant.
It felt like a reversal of priorities, and I thought that our desired activities might become restricted, so at the very last moment, I wondered, "Is this necessary?"
A Year of Continually Focusing on What is Truly Important
“At that point, I think it was good that we withdrew the grant application,” says the representative, Ayami-san.
Ayami-san also moved from outside the prefecture and felt anxious about how to spend time with her child and respond to emergencies.
She tried to create connections based on the parent-child English class she had cultivated locally, but it seems she was confused starting from different conditions regarding locality and relationships.
For Ayami-san, CSR activities are about deepening connections and cherishing them.
Through the exchanges and discussions regarding the grant application, it became clear what CSR truly values.
CSR, which decided to postpone the grant application, faced another issue.
Recent activities have centered around exchange meetings. Why is that?
Komii
It feels like we have been doing this for about a year to ensure we don't overlook the important parts.
Continuing the exchange meetings is meaningful.
At first, when one thing went well, it seemed like we were about to fall into a situation where we wanted to do more and more things, but we thought, "No, wait."
We decided to stand on the ground of continuing the exchange meetings first.
Makiko
Exactly.
The basic idea is to prevent isolated parenting.
The courses we held before the exchange meetings were really good, but while people gathered, there was less time to express their feelings.
I felt that it would be a bit different that way.
Courses are courses, and when we do them, we should just do the courses properly.
I thought we needed to provide a place every month where people could come and express what they have been holding back without being judged, like a place where they can complain about their families without being denied.
Rather than doing it occasionally, we decided that this should continue every month, so we removed the courses.
Wanting to Prevent Isolation in Parenting
The three decided to focus on exchange meetings by choosing not to hold courses.
There were feelings from each of them as individuals facing parenting.
They wanted to prevent isolation in parenting.
This was a phrase the three repeated many times.
So That We Can Ask for Help When We Need It
Komii-san tilts her head, saying, “While there are supports that use children as an entry point, there are few that directly reach out to mothers.”
Makiko-san added, “Even women who are raising children can talk about their children's worries, but they can't express their own worries and tend not to say them. There’s also the fact that they are not used to saying it.”
Ayami-san said, “Parenting is tough but enjoyable, and while it’s tough, there seems to be an atmosphere and words in daily life that make mothers feel they have to endure and do their best because others are also trying hard.”
Ayami-san wishes that there would be more open spaces where negative feelings can be expressed as they are, including the confusion and discomfort felt during parenting.
One of the reasons for starting the organization is the background of public support agencies being closed due to measures against the spread of the novel coronavirus. What would have happened if public support agencies had been open?
Ayami
Actually, even before the coronavirus, when I was still in the local area, I felt a kind of disconnection.
It seemed like the words that the other person was trying to convey with good intentions did not match the situation of the person in front of me, creating a sense of discomfort and confusion.
My mother was providing childcare in the local area, and I saw mothers who came to pick up their children having casual conversations and leaving in a relaxed manner.
Public support and events in public spaces are made with various considerations.
It's not about being good or bad, and I don't intend to criticize, but I feel that there are people who do not fit into that.
I think I was one of those people.
From the moment of giving birth, there seems to be a trend that mothers are expected to be able to raise children, and I had doubts about that trend, and I wanted to voice those doubts loudly.
At one point, I had the opportunity to take training with a home-visit volunteer organization that supports mothers, and through that training, the discomfort I had felt until then became clear.
It also clarified the issue of isolated parenting, and I thought I wanted to do something about it.
What do you think isolated parenting is?
Ayami
I think it is the lack of someone or a place to say "I need help" when you want help.
Also, the time for mothers to be alone.
Whether or not there is an option to be alone, if there is that option for even a day or an hour, you can return to yourself.
Although we call it isolation, it is not that the mother is alone; isolated parenting means being left behind with the child.
Being alone is not "isolation," but rather, as a result of the mother being left behind with the child, parenting becomes isolated.
There are also people who, even if there are others or places to help, cannot say "I need help."
Ayami
I think that is also isolation.
It's not just visible factors that are causes; relationships are also becoming thin.
I sometimes think that we are a generation that has learned from a young age that family relationships require consideration.
When I hear "compassion," it seems to mean putting oneself aside first and thinking about the other person.
I wonder if we have been taught to think of others even though we really want help ourselves.
It may differ by generation, but I feel that the current mothers and women have that kind of awareness.
We have continued the交流会 as something important to prevent the isolation of parenting. Have there been any changes?
Ko-mi
We only gather once a month, but we can talk about things we usually don't discuss, and it has become possible to picture the faces of those who might help in an emergency.
Both for myself and for the participants.
I heard someone say, "I thought about calling when I was really struggling many times."
I think, if they call, I will go! It feels like a relative.
Makiko
I also have come to think of a few people I can say "Can you watch my child for a bit?" during times when I can't take my child to the hospital, when it is absolutely impossible.
Before, I could only rely on my husband, but now I have people I can say "I'm sorry if something happens!" to besides him.
I think it's great that not only as a交流会 but also finding like-minded people and being able to connect is beneficial.
Ayami
Compared to the first year, I think it was good to have set the交流会 date to the second Tuesday of every month.
Thanks to Mr. Otsuki from IDEA R LAB, who is currently providing the venue for the交流会.
I hope it becomes a time to express what we want to express, and I want to create a time where everyone listens for one person, allowing that person to talk about what they are feeling slowly.
For now, I can only continue doing what I can, so I want to keep the monthly交流会 going.
Conclusion
It has been almost two years since the two people seeking a place for themselves and their children met and started activities as a group of three.
We have walked this path to not lose sight of what is important.
Now, supporters who support the organization have settled in, and there are participants who have been continuously joining because they are happy to celebrate the growth of children together.
In the future, CSR will not only continue the regular開催 of交流会 but also consider resuming courses while having new prospects.
“If we could deliver connections to those who cannot even come to the交流会”
In recent times, it feels like our ability to connect is being tested by events such as disasters and the novel coronavirus.
I want to do what I can so that not only women raising children can connect but also people in all positions can maintain their connections.
Data of Community Support Rejoice to Prevent Isolation in Child-Rearing
| Organization Name | Community Support Rejoice to Prevent Isolation in Child-Rearing |
|---|---|
| Representative Name | Castillo Ayami |
| Year Established | 2021 |
| Address | 3-4-5 Chuo-cho, Tamashima, Kurashiki City, Okayama Prefecture |
| Website | Community Support Rejoice to Prevent Isolation in Child-Rearing |
